


Toxic

by ughdotcom



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 13:22:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20046727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughdotcom/pseuds/ughdotcom
Summary: "Patton let out a strangled gasp, staring at the computer screen. No… he wasn’t toxic… was he?Well. Time to think. Was he toxic? He didn’t think so. Sure, he was moral, maybe to a fault, but had he ever forced Thomas to do something Thomas didn’t want to do? Yes. The answer was definitely a resounding yes. Several times. He had caused Thomas to stay up late too, when Remus came, and he had been the cause of Remus and Roman splitting, and he was… wow. Maybe he was a terrible side."Patton thinks he's toxic, so he breaks up with his boyfriends to avoid hurting them





	Toxic

**Author's Note:**

> SYMATHETIC PATTON

Patton let out a strangled gasp, staring at the computer screen. No… he wasn’t toxic… was he?

A faint knock came from the door. “Patton?” Logan asked.

“Yes, dear?” Patton stuck on a fake cheery voice and quickly closed out of tumblr.

“It’s dinner. Roman made pasta.”

“I’ll be down in a minute, honey!”

Logan hummed, satisfied. “Of course, love. I will see you then.”

“Yes, Logan. Love you!”

“Love you too.” Logan rapped on the door again and left to go downstairs.

Well. Time to think. Was he toxic? He didn’t  _ think _ so. Sure, he was moral, maybe to a fault, but had he ever forced Thomas to do something Thomas didn’t want to do?  _ Yes _ . The answer was definitely a resounding yes. Several times. He had caused Thomas to stay up late too, when Remus came, and he had been the cause of Remus and Roman splitting, and he was… wow. Maybe he was a terrible side.

“Pat?”

Patton forced a smile, forcing it into his voice. “Yes?”

“It’s been a few minutes? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, Virge, be out in second.”

“Oh, ok.”

Patton ran his hands through his hair, and wiped his eyes, checking himself in the mirror before entering the hallway.

“Hey, Pat.” Virgil grinned at his boyfriend. “Kiss?”

“Of course.” Patton placed a kiss on Virgil’s lips. “We should probably go before Roman thinks we’re avoiding his cooking.”

“But can’t we avoid it?” Virgil joked.

“V!”

“Kidding!” They laced their hands together as they entered the main eating area.

As they entered Logan looked up from the book he was reading at the table. “Hello.”

“Hey, Lo.” Virgil flopped into his chair.

“No books at the dinner table” Patton was about to say, but then he thought better of it. What if that was too restrictive? What if? “Hi Lolo!” he said instead.

“May I have a kiss, Patton?” Patton grinned at Logan and tilted his head to kiss him.

“There you go.”

“Thank you.” Logan smiled back and turned back to his book.

Roman pranced into the dining room with a grin. “My dear boyfriends, dinner is almost ready!”

“Ew.” Virgil said, not looking up from his phone. “Gross.” Roman stuck out his tongue at his offending boyfriend. “You can do better things with that tongue.” Virgil joked.

“It’s dinnertime, Virgil.” Logan complained.

“He could!”

“I could.”

“Please, you two.”

Roman scoffed and grabbed Patton’s waist. “Do you mind me demonstrating?”

Patton turned bright red. “Um… no.”

Roman grinned at Patton, dipping him, and kissing him, slipping his tongue in.

“If you two make out right now I will scream.” Virgil said. Neither of them responded, their mouths being much too busy. “Guys, dinner is going to burn. Guys! Logan help, dinner is going to burn.”

“Patton! Roman! As much as we love you we don’t want to eat burnt food!”

They pulled apart sheepishly, bright red. “Sorry Lo.” Patton said.

“No books at the dinner table, my dear nerd.” Roman plucked the book out of Logan’s hands, conjured a bookmark, marked Logan’s page, and set it down.

“Fine.”

“It’s the rule.” Roman pecked Logan and waltzed back into the kitchen to get the pasta.

Patton sat down across from Virgil, waiting for Roman to deliver the pasta. Should he help? He suddenly wondered. Was it ok to have Roman do all the work? He got up.

“What are doing in here, love?” Roman asked as Patton entered the kitchen.

“Helping.”

“I don’t need help, Pat. Just sit down and wait to be served.”

“I want to.”

“Ok, you can take in Logan and Virgil’s plates.” Roman gestured at said plates and kissed the top of Patton’s head.

Patton smiled and grabbed the plates, setting them in front of the respective sides.

“Thank you.”

“Thanks.”

“Thx for the help, darling!” Roman said, placing down their plates.

“How did you make that sound with your mouth?”

Roman just smirked and went back in to grab the water. When he came back in he sat down. “Bone app the teeth.”

“I will murder you.” Virgil complained.

“No you won’t.” Roman pecked the threatening boyfriend on the lips before starting his pasta.

“This is delectable.”

“This is great, Ro!”

“It’s ok, I guess.”

“Virgil, be nice to your boyfriend!” Patton said as Roman made offended princey noises.

“No. He knows I love him.”

“Awww you do?”

“We’ve made out, Princey, what more do you want?”

“You to say it out loud.”

“More than once a day?”

“Yes.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love Patton, I love Patton, I love Patton, I love Logan, I love Logan, I love Logan.”

“There. I love you too.”

“Awwwww Virge!” Patton squealed. “I love you too!”

“I love you as well. Can we stop fueling Roman, if this continues he’s going to force us to watch Disney for movie night, even though it is  _ obviously _ my turn.”

“Sure, love.” Patton beamed at Logan, who smiled back.

“Thank you. What did you do today?”

“I deleted the Tumblr app.”

“You know you can block tags?”

“I was in the middle of a panic attack, Roman, don’t judge.”

“Why?”

“I would prefer not to say.”

Patton smiled at Virgil, perfectly aware why Virgil deleted the app but not showing it. Virgil smiled back.

“Well I finished the script for the next video.” Roman said proudly.

“You are aware we will branch off script the minute the video starts?”

“Yeah. I sure as hell didn’t write my twin trying to murder me into any script.”

“What if dogs had humans as sex slaves?” a voice echoed through the room.

“FUCK OFF!” Roman yelled as Virgil hissed.

“Fine! What if there was smut fanfiction for the bible?”

“BEGONE!”

There was a sigh and Remus’ presence disappeared.

“I hate him.” Virgil declared.

“Same.” Roman said.

“He is quite annoying.”

“He’s not nice.”

They finished the rest of their dinner while chatting about whatever. When they finished Roman cleared their plates before clapping his hands excitedly. “It’s my movie night!”

“It’s my choice.” Logan retorted.

“Fine.”

“We’re watching a documentary.”

“Ugh fine.”

Patton smiled, weirdly uncomfortable for no reason. “I’m not feeling that well, I think I’ll go to bed.”

“Ok, Pat.”

“Ok, I hope you feel better soon.”

“I hope you will feel much better soon.”

“I hope so too.”

Virgil smiled and pressed long hard kiss to Patton’s lips. Roman followed this, then Logan.

“I love y’all.” Patton said.

“Same.”

“I love you too.”

“I love you all too.”

Patton waved and turned, the fake smile falling off his face as he walked up to his room.

The other three walked into the living room.

“Something’s up.” Virgil said. “He didn’t take Logan’s book.”

“He never insists to help.”

“We can’t get sick.” They all turned to Logan and nodded.

“Yeah. But we have to wait and see. Maybe he just wasn’t that happy today.” they nodded as they turned on the TV and Logan chose a documentary about snakes. (it led to a lot of memey conversations that confused the hell out of Logan).

In his room Patton fell on his bed, taking off his cardigan and glasses. Warm, heavy tears fell from his eyes onto his blanket. He sobbed and sobbed.

The three concerned boyfriends stopped at Patton’s door to say goodnight, but they heard sobs from within. Roman reached for the doorknob, but Virgil shook his head frantically, dragging the other two into his room.

“We can’t just go in there! He’ll stop crying, and if I’m being serious, he’s going to give himself an ulcer with how much he represses his feelings.”

Logan nodded. “As much as I want to help, he’ll just hide when he needs to cry more.”

“But we have to do something!”

“We’ll ask him tomorrow, no use upsetting him this late.”

“Okay. I don’t feel good about it though.”

Now Patton heard a snippet of this conversation. But not the good boyfriends caring about him part, but the part that could be taken wildly out of context.

“But we have to do something!”

“We’ll ask him tomorrow, no use upsetting him this late.”

“Okay. I don’t feel good about it though.”

Patton took this as Virgil had told them about him being toxic, and they had all agreed to break up with him. He flopped back onto his bed, more tears welling in his eyes.

“We have to see if someone’s causing this.”

“You don’t mean…”

“I’m sorry, but I think we have to visit your old friends.”

* * *

“Well, hello, Virgil and harem. I was _ totally _ expecting to see you here at this hour of the night.”

“Ooh, hello brother.”

Roman reached for his katana, but Virgil grabbed his arm to stop him. “No.” he hissed.

“Hello, brother.”

“Brother?”

“Hey Nico.”

A gasp. “Revealing my name. How rude.”

Roman and Logan looked around the pitch black but all they saw was themselves, Deceit, and Remus.

“Well, neither of us are known for being nice.”

“True.” and Logan could have sworn he saw a grin flash through the air, like the cheshire cat, but quickly disappearing.

“Did you hurt my boyfriend.”

A faint hum. “No. But I can sense him drawing some of my depression away. I don’t like that,  _ Virgil _ . I treasure my sadness.  _ Make him give it back _ .”

“Are you depression?” Logan asked the empty (or not empty) air.

“Wow, you really are Logic, aren’t you, brother in law? No shit, Sherlock.”

“But Depression and Anxiety aren’t connected.”

“ _ Too bad! _ ” Nico’s took on Virgil’s layered panicked voice. “ _ We’re siblings. _ ”

“Okay.” Logan swallowed. The grin flashed in the dark again.

“Now get me my sadness back. I’m feeling the urge to eat without being forced, brother.”

“You don't eat? We still have to eat.”

“How sad. Make my brother in law give up his depression. I need it.” A hiss filled the air.

“Nico!” Deceit scolded.

“Oh shut up, Ethel.”

“That isn’t my name!” Deceit spluttered.

Remus was bending over in laughter. “Ethel! That’s a good one!”

Smoke wrapped around the two light sides and the one grey side. “My sadness.  _ Now _ !”

“Ok.” Roman squeaked, grabbing onto Logan.

“Ok, brother.”

A figure materialized in front of Virgil, hanging upside down from an invisible bar. “Not today.” it said in a sing-song voice as Virgil screamed.

“Ok, time to go.” Virgil grabbed the other two and hauled them out of the darkness.

* * *

In the morning they walked up to Patton’s and door knocked on it, three sharp knocks.

Patton opened it, his eyes clearly red from crying, his hair mussed, and his glasses lopsided.

“Patton-” Roman said, but Patton cut him off.

“I think we should break up.” he said, then he calmly closed the door in their faces.

Patton slid down his door, crying silently. He shouldn’t have done that, but he was helping them… wasn’t he? Oh god, was he being selfish again? He let out a sob before covering his mouth. He couldn’t let them know that he didn’t mean it. They were better off without him.

On the other side of the door Virgil had started crying, before being scooped up into Roman’s arms and led him to his room.

They sat on Virgil’s bed, all in various states of shock, anger, and/or grief. Logan removed his glasses and cleaned them silently, a tear tracing down his face. Roman had set Virgil on his bed, and was now pacing the room. Virgil was sobbing.

A noise came from across the room, someone clearing their throat. Roman, assume it was Patton, spun around and threw a shoe at it. It was not Patton.

A side in a leather jacket sat on Virgil’s dresser. They ran a hand through their hair. They were faintly more feminine than Thomas, and like all dark sides, something was different about their appearance. But unlike scales or grey hair, their hair was red. They also had glasses, but so did Logan and Patton.

“Ok, listen, I  _ really _ need that sadness back.”

“Nico?”

“Listen, V. It’s gotten worse. I’m missing more of my sadness. What just happened?”

“He… broke up with us.”

“Ok so. You’re using your own sadness, Virgil. Smart boi is using some. And prince dick is using some. But not all.  _ Where is my sadness _ ?”

“Why do you care!” Roman shot back.

“Because if too much gets away, then Thomas get depressed and  _ I don’t want that _ ! _ I need it back _ .”

“You care about Thomas.”

Nico’s voice was doubling rapidly, becoming more panicked. “ _ We all do! Please! I need it back! Now _ !”

“We’ll try!”

“ _ Don’t make me face Tumblr’s no. 1 enemy by myself! _ ”

“You know their names, Nico.”

“ _ So? More fun this way! _ ” they scoffed, snapping their fingers and disappearing in a puff of purple smoke.

“What happened?” Logan asked, still cleaning his glasses. “Not with Nico, but with Patton. Why did he break up with us? What did Nico mean when they said Tumblr’s no. 1 enemy?

“Well…” Virgil said drawing out the word, still crying. “Tumblr has come to the conclusion Patton is toxic.”

“What!” Roman exclaimed, pausing mid stride and gaping. Logan dropped his glasses, and they broke with a sharp crack. “How?!”

“He forces Thomas to do stuff, even though that’s really him trying to be moral.”

Logan picked up his glasses, running a hand over them to fix. “Well that’s stupid. Patton is really just trying to be moral. Everyone is faulty at their jobs sometimes. I’m not always the most logical, Roman isn’t always creative-,” ‘hey!” “-and you aren’t always anxious.” Virgil gave Logan a small smile, and Logan smiled back. “If anything, Deceit is the toxic one, because he does all of the stuff Patton does, plus more. Roman, has Patton ever complimented you to get something?”

“Only a kiss.”

“But Deceit has done that for much worse. Virgil, is that why you deleted the tumblr app?”

“Yeah.”

“Well we have to tell Patton that he isn’t toxic!” Roman proclaimed.

“Yeah, but how? He’s going to avoid us. Maybe for the rest of time.”

“I have a plan.” Logan said. “But you aren’t going to like it.”

* * *

“So you want me to call Patton up here and then… leave?”

“Exactly.”

“Can I listen in?”

“If you want.”

“Ok. PATTON!”

“Yes, kidd- oh.”

“Patton! Thomas leave.”

“Rude.” Thomas muttered as he left the room.

“Patton, why?”

“Because,” Patton paused before forcing out the words “I don’t love you.”

“FALSEHOOD!”

“Prove it.”

“You’ve said it.”

“I can lie.”

“Bullshit.”

“Yes, it’s bullshit.”

“FUCK OFF ETHEL YOU AREN’T NEEDED HERE!”

“My name isn’t Ethel.” Deceit muttered as he sunk down.

“Patton please. You aren’t toxic!”

“And how would you know that! You love me! You’re seeing everything through rose colored glasses, Logan!”

“ _ Listen to him _ .” a deep double voice filled the room.

“Virgil?” Roman asked.

“Not me.”

“ _ That’s bullshit, pretty boy. You aren’t toxic. _ ” the room turned pitch black, the four only barely illuminated. “ _ Now my brother loves you, and so do my brother in laws and you are taking too much sadness. So even if they are wearing rose colored glasses, I sure as hell ain’t. _ ” the room turned light again and Nico stood in the middle of the room, wearing a tux. “What. Where’s my jacket. REMUS!” they snapped their fingers and disappeared.

“Who was that?”

“That was my sibling, who doesn't have feelings for you. Now if they say you aren’t toxic, then believe them. Patton please. We love you.”

A tear traced across Patton’s face. “I don’t.”

“No!” they yelled when Patton ducked down, quickly following him.

Patton entered his room. Not the room connected to the main part of Thomas’ brain, but the room filled with mementos from the past. There was new memento now. It appeared to be a plain red blanket but it meant so much to Patton. After they had all gotten together they had lay in Roman’s room, cuddling under this blanket. They had lazily kissed each other's skin and played with hair. He started crying, remembering Roman’s hugs, Virgil’s laugh, Logan’s voice. He grabbed the blanket, curling under it on the couch. He remembered date nights, movie nights, nights they lay together content,  _ other _ nights. All the things he would never have anymore. And he cried, not bothering to hold it back. He cried and cried. He loved them, he loved them so much. That’s why he couldn’t be with them.

Virgil lay next to Roman, crying into Roman’s shoulder as Roman cried into the top of Logan’s head and Logan cried into Roman’s chest. None spoke, for who can speak when tears are flowing from your eyes and you are sobbing heavily?

“I love you, and I love him.” Roman said to them both.

“I love you too, and I love him too, and I love Logan.”

“I love the both of you, and I love him, and I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling things.” Logan said, his face still buried into Roman’s shirt.

“No one does.” Virgil said, surprising them both.

Roman kissed Virgil’s hair, then Logan’s. “I’m glad you both feel things.”

“I’m glad I can love, but I really want to just get wasted right now.”

“How? We aren’t human.”

“We can try.” Virgil said, conjuring up several bottles of alcohol.

“No.” Logan made it disappear. “No bad coping.”

“Fine.” Virgil climbed out of their arms, looking down and surveying the state of his clothes. “I’m taking a shower. Feel free to join me.”

“Sex isn’t coping, V, this isn’t Riverdale.”

Virgil turned red. “I didn’t mean that way, Roman!”

“You sure?”

“Yes! We are literally covered in snot, sweat, and tears.”

“Aw.”

“If you want…” Virgil teased.

“I was joking!”

“So was I, princey.” Virgil leaned in and kissed Roman, a bit more passionately than needed.

Roman glanced down. “Actually…?”

“Ya, sure. Logan?”

“Our boyfriend just broke up with us.”

“We’re trying to distract ourselves.”

“Coming.”

* * *

Insomnia was probably the weirdest side. Like Virgil, he was neither dark or light, just there. Insomnia’s name was Remy.

“Remy!” he jolted awake to a yell.

“Hey, Neeks.”

“Patton broke up with my brother and brother in laws.”

“Ooh gurl that sucks. Can I go back to sleep now?”

“No. They’re taking all my sadness. I need your help to get them back together again.”

“Neeks.”

“Rem.”

“Fiiiiiiiiine.”

“Thank you.”

“Where’s the jacket I gave you?” Remy said, gesturing to their tux.

“Remus took it.”

“Ah.”

Remy appeared to Virgil. There was only one problem. “Oh my god I'm scarred for life!” he yelled, popping away just before a bottle of shampoo hit his face.

“Why are you back so soon?”

“They were fucking, I can’t very well get them back with Patton.”

“You could shove Patton into their bathroom.”

“Patton would think that they were happy without him, this isn’t Riverdale.”

“Ah, true.” Nico tossed a ball into the air. “Do we wait…?”

“Want to watch Riverdale?”

“No, but do I have a choice?”

“No.”

After a few episodes of Riverdale (Nico hated it, but “that was totally foreshadowing to Cheryl being a lesbian!” *gasp* “gurl you’re right!”) Remy appeared to Virgil again.

“You’re all dressed, so I’m not leaving.”

Logan, who was only wearing a towel, gestured at himself, but Remy didn’t leave.

“You have to get back with Patton.”

“We’re trying, tell Nico that.” Virgil said, tossing clothes at Logan.

“How’d you know they sent me?”

“You owe them a shit ton of favors, it wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“Gurl. And yeah. Now how do we get you and Morality together?”

“We don’t know! We’ve tried everything!” Roman said dramatically, flopping back onto the bed.

“Fine, be that way.” Remy snapped his fingers, just to be dramatic, and disappeared.

“Patton.”

“Go away.”

“How about no.”

“Remy?”

“Yes. Want to do makeup?”

“No.”

“Gurl, were you crying?”

“...no.”

“You were. Why did you break up with them.”

“I don’t love them.”

“You do, but go off I guess. You know you aren’t toxic, right?”

“I am.”

“Honestly just the fact you’re concerned that you might be means you aren’t. I can help, ya know. Just avoid guilt trips and shit. It isn’t that hard.”

“Go away.”

“No. Gurl, they love you.”

“Then why were they…” Patton trailed off.

“OMG, gurl. Distracting themselves. Riverdale solution.”

“They had sex?!”

“That’s not what you were talking about?!”

“I meant why were they planning to break up with me. How do you know they had sex?!”

“I walked in on them. And they weren’t. I promise you, they wouldn’t be crying if they planned on dumping you.”

“They were crying?!”

“No duh. Babe, they love you. And you love them. Bitch.”

“Yeah, I love them! But I’ll hurt them if I get back with them! And I can’t hurt them! That’s what love is, isn’t it?!”

“Yeah. But you aren’t going to hurt them.”

“I am.”

“No. Because at least they’ll know you love them.”

“What?”

Remy smirked, waving a carrot pen. “Bye, BITCH!” he twirled around, evaporating in a cloud of smoke.

“Roman. Here you go.” Remy tossed the carrot pen at him, and Roman caught it. “Bye bitches.”

Roman pressed play. “Yeah, I love them! But I’ll hurt them if I get back with them! And I can’t hurt them! That’s what love is, isn’t it?!” the pen said.

Virgil gasped. “He loves us.”

“You didn’t know this?”

“I am the physical embodiment of anxiety, Lo.”

“This does nothing to help us!” Roman yelled. “Just cause we know he loves us, he also doesn’t want to date us!” he threw the carrot pen on the ground, causing it to break open.

Virgil yelped. Logan rested a hand on his arm calmly. “Roman.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just mad.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart?”

“What? I understand you’re mad, but Virgil is anxious, and I don’t want him to have a panic attack, and I don’t think he wants to have one either, do you, darling?”

“Darling?”

“Yes, I'm using pet names. I’m sorry, I just miss his.”

“I know.” Virgil slipped his hand into Logan’s, and his other hand into Roman’s. “I do too.”

“I want to cry again.” Logan stated matter-of-factly.

“Go ahead. I do too.” tears started falling down their faces when they suddenly all appeared in Thomas’ living room, in Logan’s spot. Patton was also there. Nico was in Virgil’s spot, Remus in Roman’s, holding Deceit princess style for some reason. Remy sat in Thomas’s spot.

“I keep crying randomly. Fix it.” Thomas said, walking out of the room.

“Gurl, this is your problem. Neeks, come on. More Riverdale.”

“Ugh!” Nico said, sinking out with Remy.

“Bye bye, imagine mermaid sex but kinky and gorey!” Remus said, sinking out with Deceit.

“I’m not dating you again.”

“Patton, listen,” Virgil said, “You know how anxious upon starting to date you guys? I was a  _ dark side _ . I could have hurt you  _ so badly _ . I was so scared. And I dealt with it. I know how you feel. And please. We love you.”

“We can’t just get back together just so we don’t fuck up Thomas.”

“Bullshit. We aren’t getting back together not to fuck up Thomas, as you said. If we got back together it would be because we love each other.” Logan said.

“But I’m toxic.”

“Take it from the people you see everyday, and not some idiots on the internet.  _ You are not toxic _ . And we love you.”

“But what if…”

“No what ifs. Those suck. I should know, I’m anxiety.”

“I’ll hurt you.”

“Falsehood.”

“But-”

“No buts. Grasp the adventure.”

“I love you, but I can’t do it.”

“Yes you can.”

“You promise you won’t let me hurt you.”

“Yes.” they chorused.

“Then ok.”

The three in Logan’s spot opened their arms for Patton, who came into a hug. And he fit there perfectly, because they weren’t complete without him.


End file.
